do you think too much?

do you? hehe.. i do.. thats for sure..

i was thinking of writing our journey of 2009 today, but then, workloads came in.. so entry tu ditangguhkan sbb ia memerlukan sedikit buah fikiran & pengimbauan merentas masa sedikit.. dan saya adalah sgt suke berangan jd akan berpanjangan2 lamunan itu nnti.. hiks..

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last week i was a bit stressed, tho at first i didnt admit even to myself, n konon berlagak sgt cool.. padahal? hanya tuhan je la yg tahu.. until i got blockache of designing at nites, so not much headers could be done last week, and most of the hours and energy was gone to waste… hmmphs.. yg dpt hanya penat..

as i drove this morning, i realize i’ve been pushing myself too hard.. i guess too many wantings.. sometimes i get too drained of thinking/planning too much and cramping everything that i’ve planned together.. pushing it… i want so many things for my kids, to be able my very best to my hubby and family.. sometimes i wish i cud have duplicates of me, so i can give myself to each of them…

this morning what Datuk Dr Fazilah Kamsah said got me thinking.. some stress is good.. but too much stress ..? y do i think too much on things? am i pushing myself to hard? y do i need to set all this at one go…

some problems just cant be solved rite..? no mysteries behind it, just that some tangles just cant be untangled.. like human factors.. thus, those shud be just ignored..

i have to learn not too think too much.. and YUPP.. I SHOULD SIT BACK n ENJOY THE RIDE…

like wanting to move on from the office.. i just started applying for new jobs.. but then again, i dont need to get it now rite..? so y push it..?

The other day, i went for an interview, it was an advertising company.. Ididnt know, cos i didnt have time to check.. and in the jobstreet it was written designer for magazine.. so i tot it was kinda like and publishing company, doing magazines.. and i applied.. n was shortlisted.. and called for an interview.. atfirst they informed on wednesday afternoon around 4, and wanted me to come the next day at 11.. wah, mana boleh? i thought nak lari2 jap pegi.. then keje byk.. n couldnt.. so i replied back on thurs morning and rescheduele to a later date..

and at the interview, the boss/interviewer was ok with my artworks n all.. and he started talking on the commitments i need to throw in.. yupp, advertising with its crazy hourss and the oblige commitments to give to the clients.. It got me thinking there n then, i dont want this.. i left advertising last time after giving birth to Nadhrah becos i want to have more time for my kids.. now GO BACK? am i crazy…?

like my mom says lari dari mulut singa masuk mulut naga.. adoi.. i went blank n speechless for a while..

lepas tu i terus ckp ngan dia “sorry, if i;m single i would love this job but i dont think i want this anymore..” aiyak.. terukkan i ni? tp yup..luckily the interviewer understood.. and he said “i understand with 2 babies and other priorities to ur husband n family.. and thanks for being frank to me.. being frank is good so we know each others stand..”

iklan jap.. hehe.. [one seperti slalu sgt baik hati teman saya, tp kali teman sampai ke reception bangunan Northpoint, midvalley tu.. tlg carikan ofis dia.. terharu sgt.. thank u syg.. muahs!!]

i used dream to work in advertising giants or publishing house or broadcasting line.. and dream to be like yasmin ahmad one day.. but not after getting Nadhrah.. all that changed in a blink of an eye..

and it got me thinking.. i’ve already got a good job, just the distance.. yes, things are not as good or should i say great as it used to be…great & happening collegues, cool boss and ++.. but then again, now also i have not much of a problem.. and nobody really kacau me or anything.. SO i should be thankful, cos there are other less fortunate, being retrenched and all..

I asked myself y the rush? if good or better opportunity comes take it, but not bulldozzing into any opportunity available..

i should learn to relax.. and go with the flow…
learn to prioritize and be organized.. i shud create timeliness too kan?
like the header designs as well.. i always try to do it as soon as i can, which is sometimes good, but only make me sgt tired, cos of the not enuff sleeping.. n after few days of not enuff sleep, makes me really drained out.. which is in the end not good at all..

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so ill be fixing my priorities now.. and i wanna be more relax n have more fun activities this year…

talking bout having fun and enjoying the ride.. last Sat ramai mummy bloggers yg join NuffnangFriso Family Day Out.. sgt teruja tgk semua gmbr kat blog-blog mommies.. best betul.. mmg rugi tak joing, kalau tak dpt beramas mesra kan??

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ni a few pics yg i curi, amongst the pics that i like the most.. hehe.. hope tuan punye tak marah ye.. janji utk letak sini je, xde tujuan lain.. tp kalau tak suke sila btau ok.. saya kluakan..